I recently came across some internet knowledge stating some people believe that the COVID-19 vaccine contains a microchip made by Bill Gates that can track and control us. The microchipped vaccine believers have expressed an anti-vaccine opinion and will most likely choose to forgo the vaccination. I found this surprising and alarming. My alarm is obviously about people not wanting a Bill Gates microchip, not in the microchip conspiracy itself.
Think about it. Bill Gates, a multi-billionaire, designs a microchip to implant into YOU! For starters, it should make you feel special that someone of that kind of financial magnitude has any interest in you at all. But my want, or rather need, for the vaccine goes well beyond that. The moment I am given a microchip through Bill Gates vaccine, I will have Bill Gates’s property inside me. It is only logical that Mr. Gates will invest in his property because he has the money and the means to do so. This means Bill Gates is going to invest in me. Will the vaccine work? Probably. He definitely won’t want me getting sick and dying from COVID-19 at the risk of wasting a lot of time and money providing me with the vaccine.
I am willing to bet that I will experience positive side effects from the microchip in the vaccine. Maybe my slipped disc in the lower region of my spine fixes itself. Maybe my terrible vision fully returns, allowing me to ditch my eyeglasses. The thought of not having glasses fog up while wearing a mask could be reason alone to take my chances getting the microchip vaccine. And yes, I prefer to be injected with a vaccine and potential microchip than wear contacts.
And what does the world look like in the future once his microchip vaccines are in full force? Well, that’s a simple vision to see (especially after getting the vaccine and receiving perfect sight). At some point, those who think there is a microchip in the vaccine will be able to prove one exists in the vaccine. They will think they made the smart decision not to get vaccinated and act all smug and self-righteous. Then they will demand microchips be removed from everyone because of privacy issues or for some other faulty injustice they think they are trying to balance. However, the joke (and not a funny one) will be on them because, to reiterate, those who are vaccinated are Bill Gates’s investments that have his property inside of them. At the same time the microchip is proven to exist within the vaccinated, all those who were vaccinated will reach their full potential. The vaccinated collective will do everything in their power, which will then include all the advantages given to them by their microchips, to protect their microchips; those vaccinated will be much stronger than those who are not vaccinated. A war will break out. The vaccinated will destroy the unvaccinated and all the threats of microchip removal with them. The vaccinated/microchipped will go on living healthy, productive, PTSD-free lives, happily working the farm with their brand new Windows ME-VAX products.
When the time comes for me to get the vaccine, I know what side of the war I’ll be on (the winning side, of course). Do you?
Author’s Note: This post is part of my “A Brief Reasoning” series in which I use my knowledge and instinct in the form of a hasty stream of consciousness to draw conclusions on topics relating to conspiracy theories. If you would like me to briefly reason one of your favorite conspiracy theories, leave a request in the comments or send me an email!
Baxter B. Bramatti 